If you want to know how to get a Cancer man to open up, listen to another Cancer.
As a Cancer, here’s my advice to you:
- Don’t force it—let him come to you
- Build trust by avoiding gossip and proving you care about him
- Open up to him first
- Don’t judge him (or others)
Sensitive Cancer men are easily offended and will disappear if you mishandle them.
The key is to have an insider’s guide like Cancer Man Secrets.
Click the link above to check out the guide now, or read our tips on cracking a Cancer man’s shell below.
Table of Contents
How to Get a Cancer Man to Open Up
In all honesty, Cancers are tough to get close to.
I should know. I’m a Cancer.
Our thick crab shells keep us cozy and safe from a harsh world.
You best believe that there are few people I’ve opened up to on account of two big factors: lack of trust and fear of judgment.
To Cancers, being judged is the worst thing that could happen after exposing our true thoughts and feelings.
And it’s a mistake we never make with the same person twice.
To get your Cancer man to share his world with you, you need him to know that you won’t judge him.
You need him to trust you.
We’re going to talk about how to make that happen now.
Read next: How to Make a Cancer Man Happy
1. Don’t try to pry open his shell
Rule #1.
Never try to force a Cancer man to tell you what’s in his head.
He won’t do it, first of all.
But more importantly, you’ll probably trigger him to shut down completely.
It’s best not to confuse his hesitance with a desire to be coaxed out of his shell, even with kind words and promises of secrecy.
Surprisingly, it has the opposite effect that you want because to him, it feels like an invasion of his privacy.
Even with the best of intentions.
2. Avoid gossip
Being trustworthy to a Cancer starts with your ability to keep information to yourself.
If you gossip, you send the wrong message.
To your Cancer man, it will mean that you have no problem telling the world about whatever the Cancer tells you in confidence.
So, better to let any juicy gossip remain unsaid.
3. Don’t judge him
In general, refrain from coming across as judgmental of him.
Let him do and say things without you slapping a label on them.
Now, this can be tricky because Cancers are so incredibly sensitive that they can sometimes perceive judgment or offense where none has been intended.
This is why I recommend learning exactly how to handle a Cancer man in Cancer Man Secrets.
But, you should be fine if you practice empathy around your Cancer guy.
When he shares things, just try to see from his point of view.
4. Don’t judge others
Your Cancer isn’t the only one you should try not to judge.
How you react to others matters, too.
If that sounds weird, let me explain.
Internally, your Cancer will relate what you say about others back to himself.
If you’re a harsh judge of someone else, you risk your Cancer guy making a mental note not to talk to you about certain things so that you don’t judge him, too.
As a rule of thumb, give people the benefit of the doubt.
5. Show that you care about him
Intellectually, your Cancer guy may understand that you care about him.
But he’s still going to need proof.
What he really needs is to have his emotional sensitivity nurtured by you.
Which means, assuming he knows you care about him isn’t enough.
Tell him you care, and show him, too.
Show him by paying attention to him. Be a great listener.
Do him little favors and be supportive to the best of your ability.
You may think the details are too small, but trust me.
Cancers are all about the details no one else notices.
6. Try opening up to him first
The most effective tool you have is your own experience.
Try telling your Cancer man about yours.
However, avoid saying, “I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours.”
To a Cancer man, there’s no deal to be struck.
You can’t get it out of him that way.
Instead, offer him your own thoughts and feelings completely of your own volition and make it clear that you expect nothing in return.
If your Cancer man sympathizes, he’ll more likely feel safe to share his, too.
7. Ask, then let him come to you
Asking your Cancer to open up to you may have an effect.
But only if you do it once and then give him time to come to you, when he’s really ready.
So, don’t demand that he share super personal information on the spot.
Rather, just let him know that you’d like to know more about him and that you understand it’s not easy for him to share that, but you’re there if he wants to.
Then step away and let him mull it over.
Remember, no pressuring him!
8. If he starts talking, listen
As soon as your Crab starts to open up about something, put away ALL distractions and put 100% of your attention on him.
Give him the floor to say what he wants to say.
If you’re tempted to jump in and press him more, that could make him change his mind and shut up that shell again.
By letting him go at his own pace, you let him stay in his comfort zone.
And by paying attention to him, you validate his feelings and show you care.
This can really help to ensure that in the future, he’ll feel good about opening up to you about whatever is on his mind.
One thing is for sure—you CANNOT win a Cancer man’s trust with tricks.
If you want to know how to get a Cancer man to open up, commit to you and cherish you forever, you must understand his secret thoughts, emotions, fears and desires.
This is what Cancer Man Secrets teaches you.