How to Get a Cancer Man Back in 4 Steps (The Only Way to Do It)

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Thinking about getting back together with your Cancer ex-boyfriend? This is not an easy road, so let astrology tell you how to get a Cancer man back into your arms.

Do Cancer Men Ever Come Back?

Short answer: Yes. But not easily.

As cardinal signs, they’re “starters,” representing ambition and new beginnings.

man and woman turned away from each other in bed with a quote about a cancer man moving on from the relationship

Translation: They are capable of ending a relationship if they’re not happy anymore and starting a new one with someone else. Once they’ve moved on, the book is closed.

I’ve seen it happen again and again.

So to get them back, you need to do some work—before they find someone else. Cancer men are more likely than other signs to meet their future spouses early in life because, as I explained in How to Make a Cancer Man Chase You, they’re always open to it.

I’ve got to be honest—they’re tough to win back. They’re hesitant to subject their hearts and emotions to any kind of risk. If you have any chance, certain requirements must be satisfied.

We’ll talk about that next.

Keep in mind that getting your Cancer ex-boyfriend back is only one step—it doesn’t mean keeping him. If you want the rundown on that, you want to check out a comprehensive Cancer relationship guide like Cancer Man Secrets.

How to Get a Cancer Man Back

To get a Cancer man back, you’ve got to follow four vital steps:

  1. Admit what went sour in the relationship before
  2. Be his friend and don’t ask anything more of him
  3. Nurture his good memories of the relationship
  4. Show him how you’ve changed

Cancers are receptive to a slow, calm approach to rekindling the flame. It’s not likely to be automatic fireworks.

You need to re-earn their trust. Treat it like you’re starting all over again and not picking up where you left off.

Then you can positively reinforce the new relationship budding between you by evoking his sentimentality and establishing a sense of safety. I’m going to explain this in detail below.

man and woman holding hands in a lake with a quote about how to get a cancer man back

But before I do, I feel that I need to provide you with a word of caution.

Only pursue your Cancer ex if you are willing to give the relationship 110 percent, and if you’re a very patient person.

Even if you succeed, Cancers will be on their guard, in and out of their crab shells while they look for old, unhealthy patterns.

And you need to be willing to change things, permanently. Whatever it was that made your Cancer man unhappy, if it starts happening again, you can bet that he’ll be gone again. Probably for good this time.

I know this because I’m a Cancer. And I’ve seen plenty of Cancers do this dance before.

So you see, it’s more than just how to get a Cancer man back. It’s about how to create a sustainable, healthy relationship with him.

Give him time to adjust while you continuously work at demonstrating the positives of your dynamic and how they’ll outweigh any negatives. Show him the good parts are strong and the bad is long gone.

Step 1: Take responsibility

woman talking to a man looking upset with a quote about not blaming a cancer man for a breakup

After a breakup, a Cancer man is pretty focused on healing his own wounds.

Did you notice him shutting you out entirely?

To avoid painful experiences, he ends up blocking everything and everyone potentially associated with them. That means shutting you, his ex, out.

In this time, he won’t be receptive to attempts to make him take pity or start over. What he needs to hear is that you recognize what went wrong and that you take responsibility for your role in it. 

Resist the urge to justify what happened before or call him out for being the cause of this or that. Once you start talking again, he’ll be more than happy to claim his own responsibilities. 

But right now, he’s only interested in your recognition of your part in the end of the relationship.

It shows him that you understand what was going on beneath the surface and are capable of change—change for the better is the only thing that will motivate him to take the risk with his heart again.

2. Be friends with him

closeup of a couple holding hands with a quote about not trying to pry open a cancer mans shell

Cancer men are *extremely* protective of their emotions. This is a water sign we’re talking about, so in their feelings is where Cancer men live.

You’re not getting past their wall without following the proper procedure. That is to go in with absolutely no requirements of dating again. In other words, make it clear that you want to be friends, and mean it. 

This is for your own protection as well as his. If you can keep your expectations focused on the friendship, it will be easier to transition into this platonic type of relationship and keep it there if things don’t work out with your Cancer ex.

More importantly, you’ll be ensuring that you take the right actions and don’t try to rush things. He’ll withdraw if you try to pry open his shell.

Cancers are highly sensitive to the intentions of others, so don’t try to fool yourself or him!

3. Nurture the good memories

man covering woman's head with his jacket and a quote about getting a cancer man back with good memories

Cancer people are like elephants. They never forget.

Everything that has transpired between you, good or bad, is logged away in his vivid memory banks. And he can easily pull them up to inspect them at any time. Believe me, he will.

Once you’re on a friendly basis with him, it’s not against the rules to say, “Remember when…?”

This starts the good memories playing like a movie in his head. If you want it to be a romantic flick, make sure you don’t overdo it.

Just casually mention things like how certain inside jokes got started. Or that one time he put his jacket over your head when it started to sprinkle, then downpour so you both got soaked anyway.

Keep reminders of little moments light, positive and even funny. It will ensure that you’re not overstepping boundaries and that he focuses on what made you two happy together.

4. Show how you’ve changed

man and woman cuddling with a quote about showing a cancer man you've changed

This is a really important step that cannot be overlooked.

It’s all well and good to become friends with your Cancer ex-boyfriend and get him thinking about coupledom again. But that won’t get very far unless you can demonstrate in real life how things would be different if you got back together. 

If he felt that you had too many arguments, show him that you’re flexible enough to let things go before they escalate when something that used to be a trigger happens.

If he felt that you were too busy to make time for him before, make sure you carve time out of your schedule that’s dedicated to hanging out with him now, no matter what.

The proof must be in the pudding.

Only when you have the proof will you be able to rebuild a strong foundation for a new romantic relationship, not just slip back into old patterns.

That’s what your Cancer ex is looking for.

Remember: he’s a cardinal sign! He wants to start something new, not go back to what wasn’t working before.

If you have tons of questions about how to make sure the new relationship doesn’t fall into the same old pitfalls again, you can read Cancer Man Secrets. It’s written to be your all-in-one guide for dating and getting a commitment from your Cancer gentleman.

Check out the guide here.

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