How to Deal With an Aquarius Man Who Is Distancing (16 Simple Ways)

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Has your Aquarius man been pulling away? Gone cold or disappeared when things were going great?

Aquarius is the king of contradictions, so hold onto your hat when dating one.

Here’s how to deal with an Aquarius man who is distancing himself from you:

  • Stay calm and collected
  • Give him some space before contacting him again
  • Refocus his attention on enjoying your company
  • Stay positive around him
  • Prove to him that you’re not trying to take away his freedom

Where many women fail with Aquarius men is misunderstanding their behaviors and reacting in a way that pushes them further away.

And it’s not their fault—Aquarius is one of the toughest signs to read.

If you want to make sure you’re not making a fatal mistake with your Aquarius man, the best thing you can do is understand his psychology with a guide that’s as in-depth as Anna Kovach’s Aquarius Man Secrets.

You can dive in now by clicking the link above, or read on to find out the right way to handle an Aquarian man who’s acting distant and cold.

How to Deal With an Aquarius Man Who Is Distancing Himself from You

couple embracing on the beach with a quote about how to react to an aquarius man who distances himself from you

There are so many reasons an Aquarius man might distance himself from you.

Often times, Aquarius men will stop talking to you out of nowhere or suddenly act cold toward you while they’re replaying some scenario in their minds over and over.

If they’re feeling hurt or offended by something you said or did, they don’t want to break character and come across as emotional to you.

So they ice you out.

Or other times, they just feel the need to reestablish their independence and get some alone time.

Whatever the case may be, it’s crucial that you respond in the right way.

You can’t overreact or be smothering in any way, or it can make it much worse.

When an Aquarius is acting distant, you must keep your cool, yet show him you care. 

Remain detached from what he’s doing, but not from the Aquarius man himself.

Let’s dive into how to do that below.

Read next: How to Make an Aquarius Man Regret Losing You

1. Don’t fall apart

woman walking away from a man dramatically with a quote about not overreacting to an aquarius man distancing

If you get weepy and start acting like your life is falling apart just because he’s not answering your calls for a couple of days, I promise you the Aquarius guy will block you.

Aquarians are not affected by emotional displays and will see this as another reason to distance from you.

So while it may seem like the only way to get through to him is to cry in front of him, it’s advised that you stay emotionally even.

Be as chill as possible.

Despite the fact that Aquarius men are emotionally detached, they’re very perceptive and can pick up how you feel without you having to say.

If you want to have the greatest effect on him, stay in his comfort zone and don’t react dramatically.

2. Give him alone time

If an Aquarius man is obviously distancing himself from you, then allowing him some alone time is a sign of respect to him.

Being a lone wolf, an Aquarius man doesn’t want to have to apologize to anyone for needing his space.

So it shows him that you get him if you give it to him automatically.

Sometimes he needs space to process his complex emotions and figure out how he feels about you.

It’s no secret, emotions are hard for Aquarians to express.

Many times, they feel uncomfortable being on display, so they shut themselves off from others.

By giving him breathing room, you’re actually being supportive of your Aquarius man.

Remember, you’re not doing it out of anger or retaliation.

It’s simply recognizing that this is something the Aquarius man needs right now.

3. Don’t ice him out if he contacts you

Sometimes women are tempted to give an Aquarius guy a taste of his own medicine by ignoring him or being icy when he reaches out.

But this is the wrong way to go.

It can’t turn into a tit-for-tat game, or he will wage a silent war.

You’re not going to teach him a lesson.

Instead, all you’re going to do is make him see more reason not to contact you.

You don’t have to jump the second he messages you. And in fact, taking a little time to reply because you’re busy shows you have a life to live.

However, being short with him, rude and straight up ignoring him are clear signals to him that you want to hurt him, which will make him lock up tighter.

4. Spend time alone and make the most of it

woman looking at her phone and writing in a diary with a quote about aquarius men liking when women pursue their goals

Now is the time to put your time and energy into yourself.

While you’re giving your Aquarius man time and space to himself, do the exact same thing and focus on your hobbies and interests.

Go for your goals that you’ve sidelined in the past.

It’s important that you do something constructive with your time.

Not just because it’s good for your self-confidence, but also because it’s good to show the Aquarius man that you’re stable, regardless of what he’s doing.

Remember, working on your goals keeps you interesting to the Aquarius.

He loves a woman who accomplishes what she sets out to do and doesn’t let her personal life get derailed by anybody, the Aquarius man included.

5. Calm your anxiety

If your Aquarius guy does his hot/cold thing with you, you should not automatically take this as a sign that he’s over you.

It’s very typical of Aquarians to remove themselves and go AWOL from time to time. Including in committed romantic partnerships.

By worrying too much about what it means, you could put some anxious vibes out.

This can make your distant Aquarius man wonder if you can handle dating him and giving him his space when he needs it.

Aquarians are contradictory, and often go back and forth with their own needs.

They want space one day, then to be loved and reassured the next.

Many times, there are internal battles going on inside of them that they don’t let others see.

If you make it about yourself, it’s adding pressure on top of what he’s dealing with and making things worse for him.

So it’s best to stop yourself from getting too anxious and not assume the worst.

If your Aquarius man is like most, it will pass when he’s ready to let it go.

6. Understand this is how he is

The more you accept the Aquarius man and his quirks, the greater his affection for you.

Aquarius men are loners deep down, in the truest sense of the word.

And if a distant Aquarius man simply needs to breathe, he wants you to be understanding of that.

Let him do what he needs to do.

Although Aquarius folks are rebellious individuals, they do crave acceptance from the ones they care about.

Anything less than total acceptance is seen as a sort of betrayal to their deepest selves.

If you need help understanding your Aquarius guy, I recommend checking out Aquarius Man Secrets.

No matter what, you can’t get an Aquarius to let you back in by force.

It’s only possible if you let go, and show that you’re ready and willing to fulfill his needs, no questions asked.

7. Gently reach out to him

When the time comes to contact your Aquarius man, do so with a friendly text or voicemail.

A simple, “Hey, how are you?” doesn’t hurt.

It’s a good way to break the ice because it’s easy for him to respond to and shows him that you’re thinking about him.

If he responds to you, keep the conversation light. Do not immediately dive into the reason he’s been MIA.

Save that conversation for another time.

Instead, keep the atmosphere laidback.

If you don’t hear back, give it a day or two.

There could be legitimate reasons he’s not getting back to you quickly.

But if he’s not quite ready to respond just yet, you want to make sure he gets that this is a pressure-free invitation to talk to you.

That’s much more appealing to an Aquarius man than feeling like he owes you an explanation or a response, which goes against his free spirited nature.

8. Don’t wait too long before contacting your Aquarius guy

If it’s like pulling teeth trying to communicate with him, then you should stop.

Stop texting, calling and messaging him, but just for a few days.

It can be exhausting for an Aquarius to meet the demands of others, and sometimes he needs a communication break.

However, you don’t want to wait too long.

Aquarians can have short attention spans and lose interest in you in a relatively small amount of time.

Or they may end up analyzing your relationship to death, which can make them psyche themselves out.

A few days is generally enough.

In a few days, he may start to really miss your conversations.

And ultimately, this will make him realize that he wants to talk to you and prompt him to reach out.

9. Don’t pry 

man sitting alone on a dock with a quote about not prying when an aquarius man distances himself from you

If your Aquarius man is not talking to you lately, there are probably all sorts of thoughts whirling around in your head.

And it’s understandable if you want answers—

What’s going on with him? 

Is it you, or did something happen to him?

Regardless, you shouldn’t try to force answers.

Even if you suspect he’s having a hard time and all you want to do is help him open up, you have to respect his boundaries.

Understand that Aquarius men are intensely independent and private.

Respect his right to privacy, and he’ll be more likely to open up to you spontaneously on his own.

10. Let him know you support him

If something is going on with him, it’s a good idea to let him know that you’re there to talk if he ever wants to.

Or to just hang out and not talk, if that’s what he needs.

Anything that will help him, you’re willing to do at his request.

Just by letting him know this, you’re showing him that you have his best interest at heart.

You care about him and you’re sincere in your desire to support him however he needs.

Aquarians don’t often show it, but they fear alienation. They don’t want to be so alone inside their own heads.

In fact, they rely pretty heavily on their friends, partners and loved ones when times are tough for them.

But it may take you reaching out and reassuring them that you can do that for them.

11. Bring him out of his shell with a fun activity

Sometimes his distancing just means that you have to reestablish that fun-loving, carefree connection with him.

Aquarius guys love fun and excitement, so take him out for some thrills.

It can be something you know he likes, or something totally new and different.

Aquarians like surprises and they love trying things they’ve never done before.

Just make sure it’s not anything sappy or romantic!

Make it fun and interesting.

Having a blast together can be just what he needs to shift his attention back on you.

This clever strategy allows him to get out of his own way if he’s been sitting at home overanalyzing stuff.

And he’ll do it without any sort of pressure from you.

In the end, it’s going to remind him why he loves being around you in the first place.

12. Never sulk around him

Aquarians are attracted to positive, upbeat personalities.

They’re drawn to people who are emotionally resilient and don’t get caught up in self pity.

Especially if you live with him or see him around regularly, it can be tempting to try to make him feel guilty.

But giving him the cold shoulder in response to him distancing is not the answer.

It will make you look petty to him and he probably won’t react to you at all.

Worse, it will make him feel guilty and he’ll go further into his shell to get away from that negative feeling.

Of course, if it’s really bothering you, it can be hard not to get just a teensy bit pouty.

For one thing, if you’re giving him ample space, it will help you avoid this scenario.

But you should also continue to focus your thoughts on your own goals and give yourself plenty of self-love and attention.

This is the best way to rise above the distancing behavior.

13. Engage his mind

man leaning back on a woman and smiling with a quote about being mysterious for an aquarius man

Being incredibly curious, the Aquarius male can’t resist a good mystery.

If he’s drifting from you, bring his focus back to unraveling the mystery of you.

Have intelligent conversations and really engage him in a good debate.

If he’s not talking to you, you can shoot him an article about something controversial over text and start the conversation that way.

Surprise him.

When he starts looking at you with an intense curiosity in his eyes while he picks your brain, you know you’ve got him where you want him.

As he rediscovers his love of talking to you and exploring your ideas, he’ll start to completely forget about whatever it is that’s got him brooding and avoiding you.

14. Stay confident

No matter what the reason is that your Aquarius man is distancing, you need to stay confident.

Act like you’ll be okay no matter what, with or without the Aquarius man.

Contrary to what you might believe, this is a potent love potion to an Aquarius.

He’ll like that you’re not revolving your world around him and what he does or doesn’t do while you’re dating him.

He wants a woman who can be totally self-sufficient, like he is.

So don’t let him affect your mood greatly, and never let his distancing take away from your self-worth.

It’s good to remind an Aquarius man from time to time that you value yourself above all else, because that’s going to show him how independent you really are.

15. Be honest

At no point do you ever want to lie to an Aquarius man—you don’t have to tell him this isn’t affecting you when it is.

There’s nothing wrong with being direct and saying you don’t feel good about the way that he’s been growing apart from you lately.

The key is to do this without investing too much emotion into it.

Try to come across as calmly as possible and don’t overemphasize it—it doesn’t have to be a whole huge conversation.

Just lay it out on the table, and let him think about that.

If he cares about you, then that’s going to make him feel for you.

And in case he’s unaware that he’s doing this to you, it’s the only real way to make it stop.

Sometimes Aquarius guys just don’t realize that you’re feeling disconnected from them due to the ways that they behave.

In which case, your honesty will be rewarded with direct action to fix it.

16. Let him know you’re not a threat to his freedom (even in a serious relationship)

Nothing is more important to an Aquarius man than his freedom.

And that’s why serious commitments scare him.

Even in a serious romantic relationship, an Aquarius partner doesn’t see the need to sacrifice his freedom to pursue his own interests and lead his life the way he wants to.

It’s his greatest fear being prevented from doing this, or worse—being a couple attached at the hip.

So sometimes an Aquarius man can start distancing himself when he fears getting tied down.

If you want to get ahead of this, make sure you’re not acting in any ways that can be considered clingy.

Allow him to pursue his passions and make his own choices about how he spends his time.

For instance, not questioning where he is, who he’s with and when he’ll be home.

And most importantly, make sure that you’re not trying to tighten the reins on him now that he’s taking his space from you.

You don’t want to cause any concern for him.

Slowly but surely, he’ll realize that you’re not going to take away his freedom.

Aquarius Men Questions

Why do Aquarius give silent treatment?

Aquarius people give the silent treatment when they have to sort out their feelings.

Emotions are difficult for them to express, and they don’t like it when someone gets to them.

If they’ve been hurt, often they’re too proud to admit it.

Instead, they’ll just give you the old silent treatment.

Other times, they’ll go quiet on you if they feel like you’re trying to control them.

Aquarians are rebellious and will resist anything they see as trying to make them fall in line, because they won’t.

And yet, they don’t like confrontation, so instead of saying “No,” they’ll simply stop talking to you.

What an Aquarius man needs in a relationship?

An Aquarius man needs a relationship where his quirks are going to be appreciated and accepted.

That includes his strong opinions, his need for freedom and independence as well as his detachment.

Understanding his emotions is not always possible, but his partner must at least be able to accept how she is different from her Aquarius guy if she’s going to be with him.

A partner who is completely supportive and doesn’t try to mold him is hard to come by.

So when he meets someone who loves him for who he is, he holds on tight.

How do you know if an Aquarius is over you?

Doing things like spending less time with you and stopping all signs of affection are common signals that an Aquarius is over you.

A big thing that will happen is becoming friend zoned.

That is, the Aquarius will start treating you like you’re more of a friend or acquaintance than a romantic interest.

Aquarians do need to be friends with their lovers too, but the difference is in the sexual aspect and emotional intimacy of your relationship.

Basically, if there’s none, your Aquarius might be over you.

The next step for the Aquarius, if you’re not good friends, will be to disappear completely.

They’ll stop hanging out in your social circles, block you on social media if they have to, whatever it takes to sever ties.

What does it mean when Aquarius man ignores you?

An Aquarius man will ignore you if you’ve offended him.

That is, if he doesn’t give you a piece of his mind first.

Aquarians don’t really like confrontation and often choose to ignore you instead of getting all upset in front of you.

Ignoring you gives them time to get over it, and it also gives you time to think about changing your behavior in the future.

If you haven’t done anything to offend him, an Aquarius man ignoring you can simply mean that he needs to get away.

Regardless of the reason, if he’s ignoring you, he doesn’t want to fight or confront you about something.

How do you make an Aquarius miss you?

Reminding an Aquarius of the good times you’ve had together will make them miss you.

Focus on fun and anything that made the Aquarius like you in the first place.

Sometimes if they’re not responding, you’ll need to cut off contact for a while to get them missing you.

This will prompt them to consider whether they have strong feelings, which they often try to run away from.

If the Aquarius really does miss you, they’ll reach out and try to make a connection.

Read also: How to Get an Aquarius Man to Miss You

How does an Aquarius man like to be loved?

An Aquarius man likes to be loved through the mental connection he shares with you.

He wants his partner to show interest in his ideas and continue to have meaningful conversations on subjects that are important to him.

Communication is huge in an Aquarius man’s love life, so he also likes verbal confirmations of your adoration.

As in, being told that you love him and appreciate him.

Beyond this, an Aquarius guy likes to be loved through the way that you allow him to be himself.

Total acceptance of who he is means the world to him.

He doesn’t care about anyone else’s opinion, but yours matters a great deal to him if his heart is invested.

Which zodiac sign is Aquarius man most compatible with?

Gemini and Libra, the other air signs, are highly compatible with Aquarius.

The air signs all share the mental connection that Aquarius needs in a relationship, and Gemini in particular is good for him because she won’t get too caught up in worrying when he goes hot and cold on her.

An Aries or Sagittarius female is also very compatible with the Aquarius male.

The fire signs are exciting to the Aquarius and are always up for an adventure.

Which zodiac sign is Aquarius man least compatible with?

Cancer and Taurus are probably the most difficult for Aquarius men to date.

Cancers are highly emotional and have the “cling” factor that Aquarius men try to dodge in relationships.

Meanwhile, Tauruses are too set in their ways for Aquarians who don’t dig routines quite as much as Tauruses.

The zodiac sign Pisces can also be a mismatch for the Aquarius male as Pisceans are emotional and may not create the strong boundaries needed to be with an Aquarius. But this is not always the case.

Other signs likely to have short-lived relationships with Aquarius are Virgo and Scorpio.

How do I get my Aquarius man’s attention back?

At the beginning stages of your courtship, focus on your friendship.

Be fun and exciting to be around.

Have great conversations, share jokes and stop putting any kind of pressure on your new relationship.

With an Aquarius guy, you really need to appeal to his mind to get his attention.

Be mysterious and intellectual.

Don’t bore your Aquarius crush with small talk, and make sure you have an opinion to express.

If you can surprise him and show him that there’s more to learn about you and dig under the surface, that will intrigue him and bring his attention back to figuring you out.

How do I save my Aquarius man relationship?

If your relationship with an Aquarius man is on the rocks, you need to be honest with him.

Tell him you want to be with him and that you’re willing to put the work in.

Being upfront and proactive are steps that will earn the Aquarius man’s respect.

However, you should approach it in a positive, uplifting way.

An Aquarius man doesn’t want to keep a relationship going that’s emotionally draining and failing.

On the other hand, if you can prove to him that it’s worth the effort, he’ll be more likely to fight for it.

If you want to make your relationship with him bulletproof, I would highly recommend making sure you understand him first with a guide like Anna Kovach’s Aquarius Man Secrets.

You can’t cut corners with this sign—you have to truly get him if you’re going to win his heart and his commitment.

Check out Aquarius Man Secrets here.

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