How to Attract a Cancer Man and Keep Him (Your Guide to His Heart)

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Once you’ve got your Cancer man, you’re playing for keeps. Or at least, that’s how you’d like it to go. 

Here’s how to attract a Cancer man and keep him, according to the stars:

  • Connect with him meaningfully
  • Be strong, kind and affectionate toward him, always
  • Be the one person he can depend on, no matter what

But I need to caution you: It’s very important not to take for granted that all is going well with your Cancer man.

Cancers will cut you off if they feel trod on.

Trouble is, you won’t necessarily know it’s going to happen since Cancer guys tend to internalize their hurt emotions.

But don’t worry! You don’t need to be a psychic to prevent relationship collapse. You just need guidance on the Cancer man’s heart, mind and soul. 

This is a complex sign, so we really recommend an in-depth guide from a trained Relationship Astrology expert like Cancer Man Secrets.

Click the link above if you want to skip ahead to the guide, or enjoy a scroll-through of my top tips for attracting and keeping a Cancer man below first. 

How to Attract a Cancer Man and Keep Him

woman smiling and looking shy with a man smiling and whispering to her with a quote about Cancer men and commitment

First of all, you’re in luck

Cancer men are not known to suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome when it comes to relationships. That is, they aren’t commitment-phobes avoiding grown-up relationships that lead to long-term success and marriage. 

So score for you!

Actually, Cancer men are pretty commitment-happy when they’re in love. It’s not uncommon to see men of this sign go from one long-term relationship to another in serial monogamist fashion, or even marry quite young.

Even so, it’s not necessarily easy to jump right to the walk down the aisle with a Cancer man you’re head over heels for.

That’s why we’re covering this topic today.

Attracting a Cancer Man

So the question is: How to attract a Cancer man and keep him?

Let’s answer the first part now: How to attract the Cancer man in the first place.

If you know a bit about this sign, you probably know that its representative animal is the Crab. The distinguishing characteristics of the Crab, of course, are its hard, hard shell and massive, sharp claws.

The sensitive Cancer man needs that tough shell to protect him from emotional hurt. He’s known to dive into it and shut the world out faster than you can say, “What did I do wrong?”

And if you’ve really hurt a Cancer, watch out for those claws!

The answer to your question about attracting him lies in getting him to feel comfortable enough to resist climbing back into his shell.

You have to make him feel good, about both you and himself.

Spin a protective web around the two of you with your words, gestures and actions while you’re doing your thing, charming his socks off.

I’m not going to get into the stuff like how to compliment him and flirt in this article. For that info, I suggest you peruse How to Make a Cancer Man Want You.

Right now, I’m going to cover the deep-down stuff that affects a Cancer man psychologically and makes him want to open up around you.

Here’s how to do that.

Balance being assertive and reserved.

woman on a vespa talking to a man with a quote about asking a cancer man out

If you wait for the Cancer man to ask you out, you might be a skeleton before it happens. 

This is not because he doesn’t have a crush on you, but more so because he’s got such major anxiety about getting turned down that he might miss out on a romantic opportunity rather than risk rejection.

So you’ll need to be assertive enough to make the first move (sorry if you’re not used to that!).

Cancer guys also have a thing for women who are confident in themselves and willing to act on their desires and ambitions. That’s powerfully sexy to them. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want with this guy.

At the same time, the Cancer gentleman is, well, gentle on the inside. Even if he has a sort of rough-and-tumble outside (it’s all show!).

The gentle Cancer man prefers a romantic partner who is self-assured, not forceful.

If you’re too insistent with him or quite brazen, he’ll feel intimidated. Possibly even bullied. And he’ll climb right back into his shell.

So, strike that balance!

Do ask him out, but do so in a non-confrontational way. Ask if he wants to grab a bite with you sometime to continue some fascinating conversation you two were having. 

Or, ask him to join you on a group outing with your friends one night if you want to play it safe.

Show modesty.

Knowing you’re hot is one thing. Expecting him to fall for you just because you’re hot is another, and it won’t work.

Rather, Cancer men are highly attracted to modesty. It’s what’s left to their vivid imaginations that gets them going (and tells them that they can safely bring you home to Mom).

The modesty rule applies to much more than physicality.

Cancers the world over are majorly put off by pompous behavior. Full-of-yourself-ism is not going to score any points with him, so be careful with the humblebragging.

If you want to mention something about yourself that’s impressive/kind/selfless/fascinating, you can. 

Just keep it conversational and within the context of what you two are already talking about to avoid coming across like you’re waving it around like a flag.

Make him laugh.

woman laughing with a man and a quote about cancer man humor

I don’t think Cancers get enough credit for their sense of humor. 

Because they’re sensitive, moody and emotional, they get a rap for being on the serious side. People forget joy and happiness are emotions Cancers feel deeply, too.

I’m here to tell you—Cancers are surprisingly funny, often in a quirky way. However, you might not get to that layer of their personalities until they’ve overcome their extreme shyness around you.

As goofy as Cancers can be, they don’t want to be the only ones cracking the jokes. They cherish a partner who makes them laugh.

And when they flash those genuine smiles of theirs, your heart will absolutely melt.

I mentioned their serious sides, which is another reason Cancers are attracted to humor and lightheartedness. It helps them get out of their own heads. When they’re in a funk, they can lean on you to first listen, then make them smile. 

Don’t underestimate the power of silliness. It’ll make your Cancer man swoon as he gets to know you.

Connect with him.

Something very important to realize about Cancer people is that they hate superficiality. It feels cold and detached to them. 

What they crave is a profound emotional and spiritual bond with their significant others. They’re not the types who can connect to just anybody, either. I’ll be honest—it could take some work.

A Cancer man probably won’t invest any time in someone he doesn’t feel he can get to that deeper level of bonding with, so it’s important to establish a connection with him as soon as you can.

How do you do that?

Be open and honest with him. Be vulnerable with him. Share with him what stays on your mind late at night, your deepest desires, your fears. Whatever is true and meaningful to you is meaningful to him, too.

Anna Kovach has a lot more on how the Cancer man connects with you in Cancer Man Secrets.

Remember, he needs to feel for you, with you and about you to let you past his protective shell.

What to Do to Make the Relationship Last

man kissing a woman's forehead with a quote about cancer man relationship

The secret here is: You’ve got to touch him emotionally.

Cancers are ruled by the Moon. In astrology, the Moon is the planet of emotion as well as the subconscious. It’s the place we look to when we’re talking about subconscious desires—and fears.

What does this mean for your odds with a Cancer man? Simply that getting him to fall hard for you and stay in love is something of an indirect process, one that flows through his subconscious to powerful effect.

The Cancer’s relationship is about what’s under the surface.

You’ll be using subtle signs and gestures to demonstrate your love, encourage him to let go of any fears he might have and get him to trust you.

Make him feel safe with you.

Remember this: The Crab likes certainty and does not tolerate unpredictability well.

Can he count on you? Are you there in the bad times as well as the good? Does he feel like he can tell you anything and you’ll offer nothing but unconditional love and support?

These are questions that are motivating his reactions to you and, ultimately, determining the longevity of the relationship.

He needs you to be predictable—in a good way. In the way that he doesn’t fear sharing his thoughts, feelings and desires with you because he isn’t sure how you’ll take them. 

In the way that he knows that you’ll always handle his emotions with care. You won’t reject them or make him feel bad for a moody disposition. 

This Moon sign of the zodiac is going to have his ups and downs, and he needs to be sure that you can handle them compassionately and nonjudgmentally.

Consistency is key! 

Prioritize affection.

woman affectionately nibbling a man's nose with a quote about being affectionate with a cancer man

The Cancer man is a highly emotionally intelligent being who wants to demonstrate his love to his partner freely and unabashedly.

Whether you’re out and about or behind closed doors, he wants the same from you, too.

You can do this by giving him tenderness and affection in big and small ways—when you’re saying “I love you,” of course, but there are no restrictions on the ways in which you can remind him of your adoration.

Say sweet things to him when he least expects it. Run your fingers through his hair when he’s on the couch reading. Give him an impromptu massage. (Tip: Cancers are as physically sensitive as they are emotionally.)

Without a doubt, you’ll be rewarded with the same gestures. And the best part is, your Cancer gentleman will know you’re a keeper. 

He’ll thank his lucky stars he found someone who can return his deep feelings of love the way he always wanted.

Give him breathing room.

Have you ever heard that Cancers are clingy? Hearing this might give you the impression that they don’t need or even like personal space. And that is definitely not the case.

Encroach on your Cancer’s private time, and he’ll start receding from your touch. When this guy needs to be alone, he really, really needs it. And you’ll know it from the way he starts ignoring you and acting mildly irritated if you don’t let him have that.

The Cancer needs space for a lot of reasons. One, because he’s intensely private. It’s his time to do whatever it is that he likes to do away from prying eyes.

Don’t worry, he’s not doing anything devious! It might just be a T.V. show that he enjoys watching alone. Or time to relax and collect his thoughts in peace and quiet.

He doesn’t want to have to ask for his space—he’d much rather you pick up on his signals and accept his desire to be alone. A partner who understands implicitly is treasured by the Cancer.

When he emerges from solitude, he’ll be craving your attention, so be ready to give it to him!

Encourage him to make his dreams a reality.

Cancers may surprise you with their go-getter-ness. One of the cardinal signs of the zodiac, Cancer is quietly ambitious and will do whatever it takes to achieve his goals.

That being said, the Cancer guy really needs a partner who supports him in reaching for those goals. 

Not only will you make him one hundred times happier going for what he envisions, but you’ll also likely have a tangible effect on the results. 

He’ll feel encouraged to go bigger, better and more ambitious, to achieve even more than he ever thought possible.

And he’ll know who to thank for that.

If you’re looking for, dating or even married to a Cancer guy, Cancer Man Secrets can help you speak his language. That’s key to ensuring the relationship is long-lasting and fulfilling for both of you.

Check it out here.

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